Sunday, 2 October 2016

Mental Illness sucks....

Normally, I don't launder my personal life on social media, but what is happening with me right now is a story that needs to be told. Mental illness is a brutal reality for so many people in this country and not enough....NOT being done to help them. With that in mind I'm going to put down something very personal to me, but it needs to be said. We need to do more. There has to be more help for the people suffering and the family members desperate to help but can't do anything except watch their loved ones implode.


I had to do something today that I know will destroy my relationship with a woman I love.

My little sister was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia twenty years ago. In that time I was helpless to do anything but watch her fight and struggle to come back. She spent years treading water through a white water rapid of pharmaceutical medications as doctors tried to get her brain chemistry balanced. 1 part guess work, 1 part education and a 100 parts guinea pig.

But she did it. Slowly my quirky sister with the easy smile and wicked sense of humour came back.   She had two beautiful girls and always astounded me with what a great and creative mom she could be.

Then about a year ago I noticed that things were changing.

It was the tone of her voice at first, the high pitched sing-songy tone that I remembered from decades ago. Then the stories of men standing in her back yard, and her fears that people were in her apartment when she wasn't home. Unknown to us, she'd decided that she was cured, didn't need her meds and stopped taking them. Cold turkey. Done. No amount of pleading or facts would changer her mind. Things got bad....real bad. CAS was called in and my Dad took my nieces to stop them from going into foster care until my sister got her life together.

But that was just meant to be temporary and there is the fact that CAS could step in and take them from their grandfather at any moment. So to protect my nieces from ending up in the homes of strangers, my dad chose to petition the court for full custody. That drove my sister, in an already fragile mental state, over the edge.

She sees it as my dad trying to steal her kids away from her. Everyone was against her, out to get her.

Except me.

In a small corner of my baby sisters brain, she held on to the fact that I would do anything for her. As I live three hours away I wasn't directly involved with everything so she considered me safe. When she took off...she showed up at my house. I talked her into going to the hospital. I convinced her to go back on her meds, to fight for her girls. I told her repeatedly that that I had her back, I would always be there for her and she said. "I know that's why I came to you."

She stayed a couple days, took her meds....but then went home. Three hours away from me and stopped taking her pills again.

Today I had to write a letter to the courts explaining everything that happened the day she showed up at my house. I had to be truthful, My sister shouldn't be driving. I believe that she's a danger to her self and I don't believe that she has the ability to care for her children right now, not forever, just for now.

Only I know she's going to find out what I did and I know it will shatter that small bit of belief she had in me. I'll be lumped in with everyone else that is out to get her and my heart is breaking because I terrified that if my little sister doesn't come back this time, she'll hate me for the rest of her life.

Monday, 18 July 2016

Sexy as F*@k Music Mondays

Okay I know I'm showing my age with this one....but those of us who were making out in the back of a camero at the drive-in will remember this one. Not that I'm saying I ever did that.... ;)

Monday, 11 July 2016

Sexy as F*@k Music Mondays

It might be sexest as hell but I love the beat to it. ;) When I want to get into a seriously raunchy down a dirty scene, this song is a great place to start.

Monday, 4 July 2016

Sexy as F*@k Music Mondays

This is definitely a song I have playing when I'm in the middle writing a heavily erotic scene. I like the pulsing beat to it, that low thumping bass works wonders on my subconscious.

Friday, 1 July 2016

Welcome to my stop in the Crazy Canuck Blog Hop!!

This truly is my favourite time of year. I love the freedom that summer brings. No more boots, heavy coats, air that hurts to breath and frosty mornings sitting in my car, freezing my ass off waiting for it to warm up. But, that's life in my corner of Canada. 11 months, 29 days and 58 minutes of Winter then 2 minutes of Summer. (Or at least that's what it feels like.)

Now that the nice weather is finally here, I can explore some of the gorgeous country that is within a couple hours drive of the city. I also have another hobby I like to indulge in....Geocaching :)

Essentially Geocaching is like treasuring hunting for any and all age groups. You can do it anywhere but there is something about searching through forests that really helps to get my muse's attention.

We went on a hike through part of the Bruce's Caves Conservation with my family. It's so incredibly beautiful there.

How can I not feel inspired when breathing in all the beauty and incredibly fresh air. The rocks and caves are thousands of years old and feel like they go on forever. Although I don't like getting too far in. I don't care if a rock has been precariously balanced for a millennia...I'm positive the day I go under it is the day it shifts and drops!

Taken from their website....
"Bruce's Caves Conservation Area derives its greatest significance from the unique cave formations found along the escarpment face. These caves were formed by the wave action of post-glacial Lake Algonquin, 7,000 to 8,000 years ago. Bruce's Caves Conservation area consists of: 7 hectares of Niagara Escarpment and rock talus, upland hardwoods, wooded swamp, caves and access to the Bruce Trail."
See the legs near the middle of the picture. That's my brother scaling the wall to hide a geocache. What a brat! LoL
Getting out of the city and wandering along the trails in the forest puts me in an incredibly relaxed meditative frame of mind. As soon as I hit that, the ideas start percolating in the back of my brains and then my characters start getting chatty. I usually come back with a ton of ideas jotting down on what ever little notepad I remembered to tuck into my pocket...along with notes on what treasures I found along the way.

Have you ever been Geocaching? Where is your favouite place in the world to go to when you want to get away from day to day life? Are there any hidden magical places in Southern Ontario that you think I should explore? Let me know below!! I have one $20 gift card to be won and I'll draw a name from those who share their stories with me in the comments.

Be sure to visit all the other awesome authors participating in the Crazy Canuck Blog Hop!

PD Workman – Summer is Short on the Prairies Canadiana Prize Pack, including paperback copy of Questing for a Dream
Jessica Subject – a paperback copy of Alien Next Door – the Complete Series
Romarin Demetri – A Mirror Among Shattered Glass
Lisa Emme – a signed copy of Home Again
Nathan Burgoine – a copy of Light
Kayleigh Malcolm – $20 CAD Amazon Gift Card
Cori Vidae – a paperback copy of Rough Edges

Don't miss out on our $50 Amazon (cad) GC Blog Hop grand prize! 
Enter through the Rafflecopter link below... 

Monday, 27 June 2016

Sexy as F*@k Music Mondays

A friend of mine introduced me to Volbeat a few years ago and they quickly became a favourite of mine. Their music always makes me dance in my seat :)


Monday, 20 June 2016

How to waste time as an author

Fighting with your muse.

Yeah, total waste of time....

Didn't stop me from doing it thought. I've spent the last six months trying to convince my muse that we want to write what is popular at the moment. Every story I started I second guessed based on the genre or heat level. For a brief (really brief) moment I considered working on some YA. It was silly really thinking I could win a war with my muse. That pig headed kilted warrior I've got for a muse simply ignored me and watched reruns of the Sarah Conner Chronicles while gouging on junk food.....the jerk.

So I did what any other desperate author does. I gave in to what my brain wanted to write. It might now be the most popular but I'm really having fun with it.

Remember Damnation Alley? Yes, I know I'm dating myself with this one. It was one of my favourite movies. (Although, I watched it recently and don't remember it being to incredibly cheezie!)  Even as a teen I was a post-apocalyptic junkie and that hasn't changed much now that I'm in my 40's. I'm still fascinated by the survival of the human spirit and what would happen if everything we knew...changed.

Kennedy Layne has an awesome series that I'm addicted to. Her Surviving Ashes series takes place during the beginning of an apocalypse when the Yellowstone Caldera erupts. There are three books so far and the fourth is due out in September and I've loved them. 

Jana Downs Deadzone series is another of my favourites. I think I've reread her three book series more than any other. There's love, lust and zombies....I know sounds awesome. right!

I realize I might be in the minority with my post-apocalyptic fan-girling which is why I've dragged by heels on finishing my own book. But, now that I've given up the fight...I'm having a lot of fun creating my own post-apocalyptic world. Yes, there might be a zombie or three....but that's not going to be the focus of the story, I do write romance after all. Can two people from warring cities find love in the middle of a wasteland. I sure hope so. <3

So tell me, do you read/enjoy post-apocalyptic books? I've mentioned a couple that I enjoy, do you have any suggestions for me?